Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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