Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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