Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We have started to decorate penises.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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