ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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