i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize