I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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