I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
