Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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