That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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