You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
