I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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