I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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