that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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