I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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