What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
