I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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