I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
