I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
