the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
