foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
