Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
