Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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