Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
