I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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