We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
