We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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