Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
