i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
