I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
