So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
