I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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