I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
