just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
