Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
