This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
