So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
