Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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