i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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