So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
