im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
