Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
