16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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