just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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