he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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