dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
