Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
