someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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