hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i now understand why vodka
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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