I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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