i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
