Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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