Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
