We won't sleep together?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
