I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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