plz talk dirty to me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
