I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
