Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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