just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
