yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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