We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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