You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
