she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
