people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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