I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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