Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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