His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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