So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
