Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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